The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
