I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
