I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
