Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
