I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
