So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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