so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
