Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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