Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
