last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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