Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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