So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
