Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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