i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
