turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
