Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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