Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
