so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
