While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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