he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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