Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
