doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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