dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
