someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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