butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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