if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
