i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
