and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
