i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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