i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
