So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
