I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
