I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
