How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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