ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
