talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
