It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
