I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
