so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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