Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
