It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
