New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
