like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
