I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
