There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
