Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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