Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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