so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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