a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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