You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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