watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
