I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
