Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize
