Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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