Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
