my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
