Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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