My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
