So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize