Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
