He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
